Wow. It's so crazy to think that exactly one year ago, I was sitting in the airport in Washington D.C. on the phone with Mom freaking out because I was heading to Africa and my deposit hadn't gone through in my bank account. We were waiting for our connecting flight which would take us across the Atlantic Ocean to the London Heathrow airport. I was so terrified! And that was before most of the crazy stuff happened!
It's amazing how much I've changed and grown up in the past year. I feel like I was such a young, naive, ignorant girl back then. Maybe that's silly because I surely feel like I still have a lot of growing up to do before I actually feel like I'm an adult. The word woman still doesn't quite seem to suit me, even though I have the number 2 in front of my age. Twenty years old sounds like I should feel rather grown-up, but I don't know. Still, I know I've grown so much since I was 19.
I had the opportunity for so many incredible adventures that have happened in the last year. First Africa, then Grand Canyon and Glorieta, then New York, then Atlanta for Passion, back to New York, then finally home....and then back to New York again! Each one had a unique lesson and experience that grew me in a different way. But it's clear that God used each and every one to pull me closer to Him and to show me how faithful and trustworthy He is. From losing luggage and being put in scary far away places and situations in Africa, hiking over 30 miles in His beautiful creation out west and finding awful strange burns on my arm, leading a small group at Glorieta, feeling completely alone for months in NYC, being challenged with heart changing questions at Passion, to all the little in-between things, I always ended in the same place. Shaking my head at my stubborness and pulling out my journal and writing out all my thoughts in another "I surrender all" type of prayer. Because, what God tells us is true. We can just give it all to Him. He will carry us through it if we let Him take control of our lives. I don't know why it takes me so long to figure it out every time. But the verse that gets me absolutely every time is Phillipians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I just feel like that says everything.
I had some unusual and uncommon experiences all in 1 year. That just doesn't happen very often. I'm so thankful. And, yes, even for the really hard miserable times. "More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." (Romans 5:3-5). Once again...it kind of speaks for itself.
There have also been some wonderful joyful times. So many of those! I could list them, but it would take such a long time, but I can't not list a few...the relationships that were formed in South Africa, the joy of the South Africans and the lovable children, the beauty of mountains and canyons and rivers, hours of Phase 10 at Glorieta and on the bus ride, laughing with Emma and Nichole in New York, the most incredible worship with 22,000 other believers, making friends at Graffiti in NY, getting my job at American Girl and making friends there, joyful reunions when I returned to Louisiana, meeting one of my best friend's baby girl, splashing in a fountain then running through Times Square soaking wet, and then the adventures still left to come! I can't help smiling a big goofy smile when I read through that paragraph and think of all the wonderful memories that are attached to each thing.
It's hard to say, but I think it has been the best year of my life. The people I've met and the ones that I've grown closer to. The places I've been and the things I've learned. The struggles and the laughs. And most of all the ways that God has made Himself real and personal to me.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Surprise!
Well, reading my last blog update actually makes me laugh a bit. The things I said are so ironic now. I'll just get to the point. After much thought and prayers and consideration (and a lot of God just putting things right into place) I decided to return to New York until August! I know. It's so crazy!
I think I was home for only five days before I started deciding whether or not to come back. And by day 6, it was pretty much decided. Nony and Frank said it was fine for me to come stay with them again. Reese (my manager at American Girl) immediately said they would give me my position back. Mom approved the decision (which was quite a big deal). God gave me peace about it. Plus, I just really, really wanted to come back to New York. So, two weeks after I returned home to Opelousas, I got right back on a plane to head back up north.
It has been wonderful to be back here! I am loving NYC in the summertime! I decided not to tell most of my New York friends so I could surprise them. Well, apparently secrets don't get kept in the doll hair salon crowd because pretty much everybody knew...guess I should not have been too too surprised ;)
But, boy oh boy, I surprised everybody at church! Danielle nearly flipped and I think Warren was almost stunned to silence, but I said "almost". And some people just kind of did a double take like, "Wait...did you leave? Or are you about to leave?..." I was gone for such a short time that some people didn't even quite realize it.
I'm not entirely sure what this summer has in store for me. Probably some trips to Coney Island and the beaches (the ones that are by the real life ocean!!) of New York and New Jersey. And hopefully many more spontaneous evenings with my friends. I already ran through a fountain with Amy and skipped through Times Square afterwards still soaking wet! And I haven't even been here a week!!
I think I was home for only five days before I started deciding whether or not to come back. And by day 6, it was pretty much decided. Nony and Frank said it was fine for me to come stay with them again. Reese (my manager at American Girl) immediately said they would give me my position back. Mom approved the decision (which was quite a big deal). God gave me peace about it. Plus, I just really, really wanted to come back to New York. So, two weeks after I returned home to Opelousas, I got right back on a plane to head back up north.
It has been wonderful to be back here! I am loving NYC in the summertime! I decided not to tell most of my New York friends so I could surprise them. Well, apparently secrets don't get kept in the doll hair salon crowd because pretty much everybody knew...guess I should not have been too too surprised ;)
But, boy oh boy, I surprised everybody at church! Danielle nearly flipped and I think Warren was almost stunned to silence, but I said "almost". And some people just kind of did a double take like, "Wait...did you leave? Or are you about to leave?..." I was gone for such a short time that some people didn't even quite realize it.
I'm not entirely sure what this summer has in store for me. Probably some trips to Coney Island and the beaches (the ones that are by the real life ocean!!) of New York and New Jersey. And hopefully many more spontaneous evenings with my friends. I already ran through a fountain with Amy and skipped through Times Square afterwards still soaking wet! And I haven't even been here a week!!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Home?
Well I'm back in Opelousas, Louisiana. It's so strange. I spent 8 months in New York City and nearly the entire time, all I wanted to do was come back to Louisiana. Now that I'm here, it's weird. I don't feel like this is "home" anymore. I'd finally (without quite realizing it) gotten used to being in NY. And actually really started liking it there! Now, I have a new adjustment to get re-used to. I still don't feel like this is really it. I feel like in a couple days or a couple of weeks, I'll head back up to that apartment on 8th Street and take the train into Manhattan and head to Graffiti or the American Girl Place.
A wise person that I know said, "I like to believe that 'home' is wherever the Lord has placed us at that time. If that is the case, then I am leaving one home and heading to another...and that's exactly what it feels like. I've loved my time here so much and have made lasting friendships..."
It took me a long, long time to start calling that apartment "home". In fact, I refused to refer to it that way. I would say that I was only there for an extended "visit". I didn't live there and it wasn't my home. I don't know why I was so stubborn about that.
The skyscrapers, the subways, the crosswalks, the busy people, the cold weather, Times Square, Broadway, Graffiti, American Girl, the Crocco family, April and Gabriel, Patty, Donnita, Sharlene, Lesley, Moe, Lauren, Brittany, Amy, Warren, Danielle, Frank, Nony, and Emma...all of those people, places, and things were my life. And all of it is left in New York. I hate change! And unlike when I left for New York (which was more of the "see you later" kind of goodbye), I won't be heading back up there very soon. I don't know when I'll see any of these wonderful people again. I just don't know what to do with myself now.
But, another wise friend that I look up to said this: "I have learned that our paths wind around in seemingly crazy ways, but be assured, none of it is crazy or haphazard as His will unfolds for us. In time your questions will be answered, even as new questions pop up. Patience is there. You prolly heard it from others but it bears repeating: God IS faithful. Keep on trustin', girl." I know it's true. I know that God brought me to New York for 8 months for a reason. Some incredible stuff happened while I was there. I grew so much and I met amazing people. The next season will have wonderful things too, and if I can just make it through the adjusting and the changing, I know everything will be great. God will carry me through it just like He did before. He's the only one that I can absolutely count on being constant. Everything else can change in a split second, but He'll always be with me and I can always count on Him.
I loved my life in New York (after I got used to it) and I miss everybody from that "home" terribly. But I'm ready! Ready for that next step and next season that God will take me through to make me more like Him. It'll be great! Here we go!
A wise person that I know said, "I like to believe that 'home' is wherever the Lord has placed us at that time. If that is the case, then I am leaving one home and heading to another...and that's exactly what it feels like. I've loved my time here so much and have made lasting friendships..."
It took me a long, long time to start calling that apartment "home". In fact, I refused to refer to it that way. I would say that I was only there for an extended "visit". I didn't live there and it wasn't my home. I don't know why I was so stubborn about that.
The skyscrapers, the subways, the crosswalks, the busy people, the cold weather, Times Square, Broadway, Graffiti, American Girl, the Crocco family, April and Gabriel, Patty, Donnita, Sharlene, Lesley, Moe, Lauren, Brittany, Amy, Warren, Danielle, Frank, Nony, and Emma...all of those people, places, and things were my life. And all of it is left in New York. I hate change! And unlike when I left for New York (which was more of the "see you later" kind of goodbye), I won't be heading back up there very soon. I don't know when I'll see any of these wonderful people again. I just don't know what to do with myself now.
But, another wise friend that I look up to said this: "I have learned that our paths wind around in seemingly crazy ways, but be assured, none of it is crazy or haphazard as His will unfolds for us. In time your questions will be answered, even as new questions pop up. Patience is there. You prolly heard it from others but it bears repeating: God IS faithful. Keep on trustin', girl." I know it's true. I know that God brought me to New York for 8 months for a reason. Some incredible stuff happened while I was there. I grew so much and I met amazing people. The next season will have wonderful things too, and if I can just make it through the adjusting and the changing, I know everything will be great. God will carry me through it just like He did before. He's the only one that I can absolutely count on being constant. Everything else can change in a split second, but He'll always be with me and I can always count on Him.
I loved my life in New York (after I got used to it) and I miss everybody from that "home" terribly. But I'm ready! Ready for that next step and next season that God will take me through to make me more like Him. It'll be great! Here we go!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
The End.
I can't believe it. I only have 2 weeks and 2 days left here in New York. This spring passed by much quicker than I expected. Part of me is relieved. But, surprisingly (well at least I am surprised) there is a part of me that has gotten a bit attached to this place.
I can easily say that I hated it at first. In fact, I was down right miserable from October to December. And I dreaded coming back here after spending time in Louisiana around Christmas time. Now, it's April 23 and I only have a couple weeks left. Two weeks will fly by in no time. Again, part of me is very excited about that, but part of me isn't sure she's ready for this big adventure to be at its end.
I have grown to really love some people up here. There's April Kuzas and her baby boy Gabriel. She's my sister's best friend and so loving and funny. And Gabriel is, of course, just precious. And there's Amy Weaver from my church. She's hilarious and sweet and funny and she's from Tennessee and I just love her. Warren, also from church, is an actor and I've loved getting to know him. He's smart and funny and a great performer. Plus, it's just very evident that he loves God and that's always admirable in a person. Riz is another Graffiti (that's my church's name) member. He's always so giving of his time and energy and he's great to talk to. I'll really miss Brittany who works at American Girl. She loves to crack jokes about Louisiana, but I know she loves me and I think she's the sweetest and pretty funny too. And Lauren (also from AG Place) is funny and adorable and I love talking to her. Plus, she threw a huge fit out of excitement when I brought her a can of Tony Chachere's seasoning to work today! Moe, one of my managers, is also just plain wonderful. She taught me how to fix doll hair and also how to give the little girls a great time. And she's hilarious and lovable.
Of course I'm going to be super lonesome for my neice and my sister. Emma is the most adorable darling precious baby girl that I've ever seen. Well, since Evelyn, my other neice was a baby... hehe. And she's brought me so much joy. When I was the saddest, she can bring a smile to my face like nobody else. I've loved growing closer to Nichole, my big sister. Some of it was hard. We had to work through our differences and learn to love each other's difficult parts too. But I've loved our chances to laugh and go for walks and shop at the Newport Mall when it was too cold to do anything else. I've loved sitting at the kitchen table eating raw cookie dough by the spoonful. I love her.
Also, I'm going to miss pizzerias. I absolutely LOVE that you can find one on almost any corner, walk in, order one big slice of pizza, pay $1-$3 for it, and then be completely full. I'll miss the subways because it's SO quick and convenient and I honestly do not like driving. And I'll miss the dazzling lights of Times Square (although, I won't miss all the dumb people who don't know how to walk...).
God has done a lot in me since I've been here also. He taught me perseverance, joy, faithfulness, grace, confidence, wisdom, security, selfless love, how to seek Him, and more. I don't think I have more than a small grasp on those things, but I'm certain that He'll continue to teach me. It's wonderful to know that I've grown. And also, I know now that I don't need to constantly be surrounded by friends. I love 2 Corinthians 3:18, "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." He completely carried me through this New York journey and I'm so thankful that I had Him to lean on this whole time. He was there for me and filled me with love and peace and assurance every time I felt lonely or sad or worried.
One thing that I will not miss: the weather.
"It is never going to be warm in this stupid place!!!!" ;)
I can easily say that I hated it at first. In fact, I was down right miserable from October to December. And I dreaded coming back here after spending time in Louisiana around Christmas time. Now, it's April 23 and I only have a couple weeks left. Two weeks will fly by in no time. Again, part of me is very excited about that, but part of me isn't sure she's ready for this big adventure to be at its end.
I have grown to really love some people up here. There's April Kuzas and her baby boy Gabriel. She's my sister's best friend and so loving and funny. And Gabriel is, of course, just precious. And there's Amy Weaver from my church. She's hilarious and sweet and funny and she's from Tennessee and I just love her. Warren, also from church, is an actor and I've loved getting to know him. He's smart and funny and a great performer. Plus, it's just very evident that he loves God and that's always admirable in a person. Riz is another Graffiti (that's my church's name) member. He's always so giving of his time and energy and he's great to talk to. I'll really miss Brittany who works at American Girl. She loves to crack jokes about Louisiana, but I know she loves me and I think she's the sweetest and pretty funny too. And Lauren (also from AG Place) is funny and adorable and I love talking to her. Plus, she threw a huge fit out of excitement when I brought her a can of Tony Chachere's seasoning to work today! Moe, one of my managers, is also just plain wonderful. She taught me how to fix doll hair and also how to give the little girls a great time. And she's hilarious and lovable.
Of course I'm going to be super lonesome for my neice and my sister. Emma is the most adorable darling precious baby girl that I've ever seen. Well, since Evelyn, my other neice was a baby... hehe. And she's brought me so much joy. When I was the saddest, she can bring a smile to my face like nobody else. I've loved growing closer to Nichole, my big sister. Some of it was hard. We had to work through our differences and learn to love each other's difficult parts too. But I've loved our chances to laugh and go for walks and shop at the Newport Mall when it was too cold to do anything else. I've loved sitting at the kitchen table eating raw cookie dough by the spoonful. I love her.
Also, I'm going to miss pizzerias. I absolutely LOVE that you can find one on almost any corner, walk in, order one big slice of pizza, pay $1-$3 for it, and then be completely full. I'll miss the subways because it's SO quick and convenient and I honestly do not like driving. And I'll miss the dazzling lights of Times Square (although, I won't miss all the dumb people who don't know how to walk...).
God has done a lot in me since I've been here also. He taught me perseverance, joy, faithfulness, grace, confidence, wisdom, security, selfless love, how to seek Him, and more. I don't think I have more than a small grasp on those things, but I'm certain that He'll continue to teach me. It's wonderful to know that I've grown. And also, I know now that I don't need to constantly be surrounded by friends. I love 2 Corinthians 3:18, "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." He completely carried me through this New York journey and I'm so thankful that I had Him to lean on this whole time. He was there for me and filled me with love and peace and assurance every time I felt lonely or sad or worried.
One thing that I will not miss: the weather.
"It is never going to be warm in this stupid place!!!!" ;)
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Great News!
As some of you may or may not know, I grew up with a doll named Samantha as one of my closest friends: 
Yes, I've always loved dolls, and I always will. And I already know I'm weird. But American Girl Dolls just really make me happy.
Anyway, when I moved to New York last fall, I thought it would be smart to get a little part time job to start saving up some money so I can move into my own apartment this fall when I go back to school in Louisiana. Then I remembered this cool little place in Manhattan: The American Girl Place. So, I decided to apply for a job over there. I went and filled out an application and resume (which Nony helped me write...see? sometimes it's very good to have a smarty pants English major as your big sister...hehe). The lady at the desk told me that they'd already done all of their hiring for the Christmas holidays, so there weren't any open positions at the moment, but that my resume looked great and they'd keep me in mind if anything opened up. I was slightly discouraged, but still very hopeful! And sure enough, a few weeks later, I received a call! They wanted to interview me and thought that I'd be perfect for the job! Unfortunately, they were hiring seasonal employees for the Christmas holiday season and I was leaving December 20th to go home for 3 weeks. This didn't exactly match up with the schedule that they would have liked for me to have. So, it didn't work out, but they told me to apply again when I returned home in January. So I did!
Once again, they told me that there weren't really any positions open at that time. But once again, I got a call after a couple of weeks. They wanted to interview me! The interview seemed to go pretty well, but they still had a bit more interviewing to do, so they would call me in a few days to let me know if I had the job or not. And, guess what!? I got it! I was hired for Avenue AG, a part of the store where I'd spend sometime working the register and a lot more time in the Doll Hair Salon!
It is SO much fun! I love the little girls and styling doll hair is very fun! I think I've got pretty much all of the hairstyles down! And I think I'm pretty good at it! There's only one doll that still intimidates me a little: See that doll in the middle of the picture? The one with the super curly brown hair? Yeah, when we get one of those, we have to RECURL her whole head of hair. It isn't hard, but it takes foreverrrrr. But it's beautiful when it's finished!
Just in case anybody is wondering, the best way to care for your American Girl Doll's hair is to make sure that you always wet it before brushing (be careful to avoid getting water in her eyes). Then, using an American Girl Doll brush (or any wire wig brush, although I reccomend the AG brush, it's easiest and others fall apart easier in my experience) start brushing small sections from the tips up to the top until all the tangles are out. And voila! Don't ever brush it without water, if you do, it will dry up and become frizzy and broken. Also, never ever put any product in her hair. ONLY water. Now, if you have a curly haired doll (such as some of the My AG/Look Alike/AG Today dolls, Lanie, Nicki, Kanani, Rebecca, or Ruthie) it is very easy to care for their hair. It is intimidating, but it isn't nearly as hard as it seems! All you need to do is follow the previous steps to brush all of the tangles out first. Then simply pull up all of her hair, but the bottom layer (You'll see little lines or tracks in her hair where the wig is sewn together. Follow those lines). Now, using a rat tail comb, pencil, chopstick, or anything long and skinny like that, take small sections of hair and wind it around it. Make sure it is damp. It'll take a rather long time if you have one of those My AG with the tiny curls, but the results are beautiful.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Catching Up - Fall 2010
Since October, I have been staying with my older sister, Nichole in her apartment in New York City. Crazy, huh? Yeah, I told y'all I had alot of catching up to do!
Well, about a year ago, we found out that she was pregnant! A few months after we got this news, she invited me to come stay with her and Frank and the new baby in New York for several months. And, after much thought and prayer and consideration, I said...maybe. It depended on if my scholarship for school would dissapear. If that happened, then there was no way that I could take 2 semesters off school.
The good news is, the TOPS people said yes! They said there are certain exceptions that they'll make. Since I'm a theatre major and New York is basically the musical theatre capital, they viewed it as an experience that would enhance my education. And, it's enhanced my education in many more ways than theatre.
On July 9, 2010, Emma Lucia Crocco was born. She came 7 weeks early and had to stay in the NICU for about a month. She was very tiny and sometimes forgot how to breath. But, by the time I arrived here in October, she was perfectly healthy and getting a little chubby!
I had hesitations about coming here to New York, though. I knew that it would be lonely and difficult. And I knew that it would be cold for mostly the entire time of my stay here. (I hate cold.) But, I also knew that there were some really good reasons for being here.
I was so afraid of leaving home. It was very, very hard. The goodbyes (or as Shelli said, the "see you laters") were a bit heart wrenching. I didn't know how my friendships, that I care SO much about would last after 8 or 9 months of living in another state.
October 12th was a tearful Tuesday morning (of course, because Tuesdays never fail to be the day that I'll have a bad day, if I am to have one). Mom and Dad brought me to the Lafayette airport. They waved at me once I boarded the plane and kept waving until my plane was out of sight.
Flying again was very exciting! I used to be pretty afraid of flying, but when I went to Africa, we had 8 flights in all, there and back. So, I learned to enjoy it. And also learned that napping on airplanes is perfect. I had a 2 hour layover in the Fort Worth/Dallas airport. Then I had the longer flight up to New York. Y'all are never going to believe my good luck! I ended up on a row of 3 seats and nobody else on my row showed up!! So guess who stretched out and took a very, very relaxing nap? Me!
When I woke up, it was dark. When I looked out of the window, I could see city lights everywhere I looked. I knew I was close.
Sure enough, soon I landed. Nony met me at my baggage claim and helped me carry my things out to the car. And that's when I got my first glimpse of Emma Lucia. That precious baby girl was sleeping soundly in her carseat.
The first week in New York felt like 2 months. When I had only been there for 2 weeks, it felt so much longer. Time was just crawling by. I cried alot. Adjusting was very difficult. I just couldn't figure out how to be happy up here. That lasted 2 1/2 months. Until I went home for Christmas. Sometimes it was better, sometimes it was worse, but mostly I just couldn't find a way to be "ok". I was just sort of mopey alot of the time.
But there were some wonderful parts too! Of course, getting to know my sweet little niece has been so great. And watching her learn and grow so much! Spending extra time with my big sister Nichole is awesome too. Although, now we know exactly how our personalities can clash... And I'm getting to know Frank more and more. And his family! His parents moved to the US from Italy a few years before Frank was born. Being around the Italians is definitely fun (and different...and loud...and I never ever ever leave with an empty stomach!!!) I've gotten to spend time exploring Manhattan and our neighborhood in Jersey City (which is "technically" in New Jersey, but really, it's another section of NYC...everybody who live in JC works in Manhattan and there's a subway that goes right into the city and everything. It's basically the same as if you lived in Queens or one of the other 5 sections). Nony and I went to see Chicago in November! That was a very fun night out!! Frank treated us :)
And, of course, all this time I've been learning so much. God has been using it to teach me more than I could have imagined. Most of those first few months were just plain hard. I think I just had to be completely broken and discouraged for Him to get through to me...(why am I so stinkin stubborn?) But I'll have more on that later because I'm writing about the broken and discouraged portion of my NY adventure. I knew all that time that God was teaching me to just be OK without being surrounded by my friends. And being happy with being alone sometimes. And especially that I needed to be turning to Him and trusting Him and depending on Him for things that I was going to my relationships with people for. I knew all of that in my head, but I just couldn't figure out how to apply it to my life.
I started going to a church in the City called "Graffiti". Mandy Trammell (she works at the BCM at LSU and went to Africa with us) got me connected with a girl named Danielle who went to LSU, but is living in NY now. So, I decided to check out the church, cause Mandy is awesome and I trusted her to be referring me to a worthwhile place ;)
Turns out, I was very right! It has been a highlight to my week to go to church and fellowship with the people that go there. I've actually made a few friends! I usually only see them on Sundays, but it's very refreshing to have our young adult small group every week after the sermon. I love just sitting and talking about God and what He is doing in each of our lives for an hour.
Then, in December, Mandy brought a group of about 30 students from LSU for a mission trip in NYC!! She'd told me about it months before I even left to come here. And I definitely wanted to be a part of that mission and serve with them. They arrived December 11th in many different groups. Mandy was the first to arrive and I went to meet her to make airport runs and we got to be the welcome crew! I immediately started making new friends with these people. I'd met 2 of them before, but most of them I didn't know. It was so wonderful to be around Louisiana people!! Pretty much all of the serving that we did was through the Bowery Mission, which is a ministry for homeless people. Let me just say this, it is SUCH a blessing to get the extreme privelege to be used by God to be His hands and feet.
And a few days after that came the highly anticipated December 20th! Nony, Frank, Emma, and I boarded a plane headed for New Orleans, Louisiana! Mom, Lydia, and Claire picked us up from the airport. From there, we got muffulettas and beignets, then went to Jade and Jennifer's house for supper and finally, HOME!!! Home, sweet sweet SWEET home!!
I was busy almost every single day of the 3 weeks I spent in Louisiana. I got to spend time with my family, Natalie Sibille, Ashley, Wiley, Caitlin, theatre people (and witnessed Duncan's proposal to Angie!), Mom's side of the family for Christmas Eve, Kaelyn, Shelli and Sydney (who live all the way out in Pearl River...what's that? you never heard of it? yeah that's right, cause it's pretty much all the way in Mississippi....haha), then went to Passion 2011 (which is a whole nother paragraph, so just hold your horses) where I got to spend 10 hours on a bus going to Atlanta Georgia with Mandie, Chelsi, Dano, and a few new friends, then once we got there saw Sloan and Megan Rogers and Whitney and Jordy and Michelle and lots of Africa people: Mollie, Cameron, Polly, Claire, Brittany, Cassie, Rob, Lynn, Shaun, Morgan, Kyle, and Jesse! (wonderful reunion, by the way! I hadn't seen most of them since June!), then came back to Louisiana and got to see Mary and Melanie before I left!
Okay, Passion 2011. There are not words to describe what God did in me those 4 days. But He was definitely there in Atlanta doing alot of work on alot of hearts. About 22,000 hearts. It never failed to completely blow me away when I went into the Philips arena for worship and saw the place packed with people praising and worshiping my God! It was beautiful and amazing and nearly gives me chills to think about it. It must be just a teeny tiny taste of what Heaven will be like! Also, the things that God taught me through the different speakers made me change the way I see and feel about things. I finally understand how much of a selfish awful person I am without Him. And I understand what His amazing grace is!! It's so incredible that He can love me! SO incredible.
I'm back here in New York now and things are going so so SO much better. I decided that I was going to have a good attitude this time. It's allowed me to be so much more open to the things that God is teaching me. I think the mainest thing is selfless love. (okay, yes I know "mainest" is not a word. I just like it and it gets my point across, so hush, Nony...sorry, my big sister is a grammer nerd :-P) It's so amazing to see how God is changing my heart. I've been trying so hard and He's been helping me to do things that I never could have or would have done. It's definitely very small baby steps, but I'm growing and I can see that.
Well, about a year ago, we found out that she was pregnant! A few months after we got this news, she invited me to come stay with her and Frank and the new baby in New York for several months. And, after much thought and prayer and consideration, I said...maybe. It depended on if my scholarship for school would dissapear. If that happened, then there was no way that I could take 2 semesters off school.
The good news is, the TOPS people said yes! They said there are certain exceptions that they'll make. Since I'm a theatre major and New York is basically the musical theatre capital, they viewed it as an experience that would enhance my education. And, it's enhanced my education in many more ways than theatre.
On July 9, 2010, Emma Lucia Crocco was born. She came 7 weeks early and had to stay in the NICU for about a month. She was very tiny and sometimes forgot how to breath. But, by the time I arrived here in October, she was perfectly healthy and getting a little chubby!
I had hesitations about coming here to New York, though. I knew that it would be lonely and difficult. And I knew that it would be cold for mostly the entire time of my stay here. (I hate cold.) But, I also knew that there were some really good reasons for being here.
I was so afraid of leaving home. It was very, very hard. The goodbyes (or as Shelli said, the "see you laters") were a bit heart wrenching. I didn't know how my friendships, that I care SO much about would last after 8 or 9 months of living in another state.
October 12th was a tearful Tuesday morning (of course, because Tuesdays never fail to be the day that I'll have a bad day, if I am to have one). Mom and Dad brought me to the Lafayette airport. They waved at me once I boarded the plane and kept waving until my plane was out of sight.
Flying again was very exciting! I used to be pretty afraid of flying, but when I went to Africa, we had 8 flights in all, there and back. So, I learned to enjoy it. And also learned that napping on airplanes is perfect. I had a 2 hour layover in the Fort Worth/Dallas airport. Then I had the longer flight up to New York. Y'all are never going to believe my good luck! I ended up on a row of 3 seats and nobody else on my row showed up!! So guess who stretched out and took a very, very relaxing nap? Me!
When I woke up, it was dark. When I looked out of the window, I could see city lights everywhere I looked. I knew I was close.
Sure enough, soon I landed. Nony met me at my baggage claim and helped me carry my things out to the car. And that's when I got my first glimpse of Emma Lucia. That precious baby girl was sleeping soundly in her carseat.
The first week in New York felt like 2 months. When I had only been there for 2 weeks, it felt so much longer. Time was just crawling by. I cried alot. Adjusting was very difficult. I just couldn't figure out how to be happy up here. That lasted 2 1/2 months. Until I went home for Christmas. Sometimes it was better, sometimes it was worse, but mostly I just couldn't find a way to be "ok". I was just sort of mopey alot of the time.
But there were some wonderful parts too! Of course, getting to know my sweet little niece has been so great. And watching her learn and grow so much! Spending extra time with my big sister Nichole is awesome too. Although, now we know exactly how our personalities can clash... And I'm getting to know Frank more and more. And his family! His parents moved to the US from Italy a few years before Frank was born. Being around the Italians is definitely fun (and different...and loud...and I never ever ever leave with an empty stomach!!!) I've gotten to spend time exploring Manhattan and our neighborhood in Jersey City (which is "technically" in New Jersey, but really, it's another section of NYC...everybody who live in JC works in Manhattan and there's a subway that goes right into the city and everything. It's basically the same as if you lived in Queens or one of the other 5 sections). Nony and I went to see Chicago in November! That was a very fun night out!! Frank treated us :)
And, of course, all this time I've been learning so much. God has been using it to teach me more than I could have imagined. Most of those first few months were just plain hard. I think I just had to be completely broken and discouraged for Him to get through to me...(why am I so stinkin stubborn?) But I'll have more on that later because I'm writing about the broken and discouraged portion of my NY adventure. I knew all that time that God was teaching me to just be OK without being surrounded by my friends. And being happy with being alone sometimes. And especially that I needed to be turning to Him and trusting Him and depending on Him for things that I was going to my relationships with people for. I knew all of that in my head, but I just couldn't figure out how to apply it to my life.
I started going to a church in the City called "Graffiti". Mandy Trammell (she works at the BCM at LSU and went to Africa with us) got me connected with a girl named Danielle who went to LSU, but is living in NY now. So, I decided to check out the church, cause Mandy is awesome and I trusted her to be referring me to a worthwhile place ;)
Turns out, I was very right! It has been a highlight to my week to go to church and fellowship with the people that go there. I've actually made a few friends! I usually only see them on Sundays, but it's very refreshing to have our young adult small group every week after the sermon. I love just sitting and talking about God and what He is doing in each of our lives for an hour.
Then, in December, Mandy brought a group of about 30 students from LSU for a mission trip in NYC!! She'd told me about it months before I even left to come here. And I definitely wanted to be a part of that mission and serve with them. They arrived December 11th in many different groups. Mandy was the first to arrive and I went to meet her to make airport runs and we got to be the welcome crew! I immediately started making new friends with these people. I'd met 2 of them before, but most of them I didn't know. It was so wonderful to be around Louisiana people!! Pretty much all of the serving that we did was through the Bowery Mission, which is a ministry for homeless people. Let me just say this, it is SUCH a blessing to get the extreme privelege to be used by God to be His hands and feet.
And a few days after that came the highly anticipated December 20th! Nony, Frank, Emma, and I boarded a plane headed for New Orleans, Louisiana! Mom, Lydia, and Claire picked us up from the airport. From there, we got muffulettas and beignets, then went to Jade and Jennifer's house for supper and finally, HOME!!! Home, sweet sweet SWEET home!!
I was busy almost every single day of the 3 weeks I spent in Louisiana. I got to spend time with my family, Natalie Sibille, Ashley, Wiley, Caitlin, theatre people (and witnessed Duncan's proposal to Angie!), Mom's side of the family for Christmas Eve, Kaelyn, Shelli and Sydney (who live all the way out in Pearl River...what's that? you never heard of it? yeah that's right, cause it's pretty much all the way in Mississippi....haha), then went to Passion 2011 (which is a whole nother paragraph, so just hold your horses) where I got to spend 10 hours on a bus going to Atlanta Georgia with Mandie, Chelsi, Dano, and a few new friends, then once we got there saw Sloan and Megan Rogers and Whitney and Jordy and Michelle and lots of Africa people: Mollie, Cameron, Polly, Claire, Brittany, Cassie, Rob, Lynn, Shaun, Morgan, Kyle, and Jesse! (wonderful reunion, by the way! I hadn't seen most of them since June!), then came back to Louisiana and got to see Mary and Melanie before I left!
Okay, Passion 2011. There are not words to describe what God did in me those 4 days. But He was definitely there in Atlanta doing alot of work on alot of hearts. About 22,000 hearts. It never failed to completely blow me away when I went into the Philips arena for worship and saw the place packed with people praising and worshiping my God! It was beautiful and amazing and nearly gives me chills to think about it. It must be just a teeny tiny taste of what Heaven will be like! Also, the things that God taught me through the different speakers made me change the way I see and feel about things. I finally understand how much of a selfish awful person I am without Him. And I understand what His amazing grace is!! It's so incredible that He can love me! SO incredible.
I'm back here in New York now and things are going so so SO much better. I decided that I was going to have a good attitude this time. It's allowed me to be so much more open to the things that God is teaching me. I think the mainest thing is selfless love. (okay, yes I know "mainest" is not a word. I just like it and it gets my point across, so hush, Nony...sorry, my big sister is a grammer nerd :-P) It's so amazing to see how God is changing my heart. I've been trying so hard and He's been helping me to do things that I never could have or would have done. It's definitely very small baby steps, but I'm growing and I can see that.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Oops...
Well the other day I realized that I haven't blogged in a long, long while. I really wanted to post some detailed blogs about my trip to South Africa, but I didn't completely succeed.
I don't want to leave yall hanging (that is, if anybody even reads this...), but I can say this, to wrap up what I started. God used that trip in many different ways in my life. But I think that the biggest recurring theme of my trip was trust. God showed me how to trust Him over and over again. From before the beginning of the trip. Some of this, I've mentioned before, but I'll say it again because God used it to make an impact on my life.
Of course it started in the fall of 2009, when I refused to even consider going on the trip to South Africa in the first place. Then one day, something small inside me said "Go to Africa". Now I was actually thinking about it. I was miserable. I would go back and forth. I thought and prayed. And when I realized that I only had 1 little day to make this decision before the deadline to sign up for the trip, it was all even worse... At that point, I didn't even know how much money I'd need to raise, just that it was alot. Everything logical did not make sense. But, something in me didn't let go of it. And that something was God. Once I made the decision, complete peace washed over me.
Then I had $4000, immunizations, passport, and so many other preparations, but it was still alot of months away. The only one that really worried me was that big sum of money. And this is where God started telling me to just trust Him. He would provide it.
And He did. Every last bit.
Even after I got to Africa, the lessons about trust continued. Especially with the whole luggage issue.
Then in small ways, like when I had to sing at two different churches in Lehae and Kliptown and I had hardly any voice. I had to trust (yep, there's that word again). Maybe that seems small to most people, but I was pretty nervous and had to remember that God gave me my voice and I wasn't singing for myself, or the people in my crew, or even the South African people. Nope, I was singing for God. And any praises I sang to Him would be beautiful to Him. When I opened my mouth to sing, the notes just came out. I didn't feel like I had to strain anymore. Once again, God took care of me.
I also had to trust that He'd take care of the children that we'd grown to love so much: Amu, Naquanda, Lindewe, David...they all had become very special. I don't know how much they possibly could have understood about the gospel. They were so young. And they spoke different languages. But it wasn't MY job to make sure that they were saved. That was up to God. And I had the extreme privelege of getting to go there and proclaim His name to them for a short time. But that was only a small part of His plan for their lives and mine.
He taught me many other things while I was there and I had incredible experiences that I could go on and on about. But it's long past time to move on to the next thing that happened in my life. God's been growing me alot since last June and I have so much catching up to do.
But before I completely close out on the South Africa stuff, I have just a few of pictures:
I don't want to leave yall hanging (that is, if anybody even reads this...), but I can say this, to wrap up what I started. God used that trip in many different ways in my life. But I think that the biggest recurring theme of my trip was trust. God showed me how to trust Him over and over again. From before the beginning of the trip. Some of this, I've mentioned before, but I'll say it again because God used it to make an impact on my life.
Of course it started in the fall of 2009, when I refused to even consider going on the trip to South Africa in the first place. Then one day, something small inside me said "Go to Africa". Now I was actually thinking about it. I was miserable. I would go back and forth. I thought and prayed. And when I realized that I only had 1 little day to make this decision before the deadline to sign up for the trip, it was all even worse... At that point, I didn't even know how much money I'd need to raise, just that it was alot. Everything logical did not make sense. But, something in me didn't let go of it. And that something was God. Once I made the decision, complete peace washed over me.
Then I had $4000, immunizations, passport, and so many other preparations, but it was still alot of months away. The only one that really worried me was that big sum of money. And this is where God started telling me to just trust Him. He would provide it.
And He did. Every last bit.
Even after I got to Africa, the lessons about trust continued. Especially with the whole luggage issue.
Then in small ways, like when I had to sing at two different churches in Lehae and Kliptown and I had hardly any voice. I had to trust (yep, there's that word again). Maybe that seems small to most people, but I was pretty nervous and had to remember that God gave me my voice and I wasn't singing for myself, or the people in my crew, or even the South African people. Nope, I was singing for God. And any praises I sang to Him would be beautiful to Him. When I opened my mouth to sing, the notes just came out. I didn't feel like I had to strain anymore. Once again, God took care of me.
I also had to trust that He'd take care of the children that we'd grown to love so much: Amu, Naquanda, Lindewe, David...they all had become very special. I don't know how much they possibly could have understood about the gospel. They were so young. And they spoke different languages. But it wasn't MY job to make sure that they were saved. That was up to God. And I had the extreme privelege of getting to go there and proclaim His name to them for a short time. But that was only a small part of His plan for their lives and mine.
He taught me many other things while I was there and I had incredible experiences that I could go on and on about. But it's long past time to move on to the next thing that happened in my life. God's been growing me alot since last June and I have so much catching up to do.
But before I completely close out on the South Africa stuff, I have just a few of pictures:
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